William Charles Zuck, 1920-2010

After a week of struggling to breath, Pop-pop died peacefully in his sleep this afternoon. For the last couple days he would breathe for twenty seconds, then not breathe for twenty seconds-- on again, off again. Just to keep them guessing, my dad said. Today there was a CD of hymns playing in his room; when the music stopped, so did his breathing-- and this time it didn't start again.

I'm deeply sad, but I'm also deeply thankful. The chorus that kept playing through my head today was "though he giveth or he taketh, God his children ne'er forsaketh"-- I just keep thinking how, though God took Pop-pop home, he also gave us so many gifts over the last few days. Tim, Steve, and I decided to drive down to Maryland Saturday night after I got off work-- we were there less than 24 hours, but that time was invaluable. I don't know that Pop-pop has recognized us the past several times we've seen him; but when we went to say hello on Sunday morning, there was clear joy and recognition written all over his face. He smiled the biggest smile I've seen on his face in years. Literally. When we said goodbye to him, we knew it was for the last time. I held his hand and told him "Goodbye, Pop-pop. We love you so much"; and he tried so hard to get words out. I said, "Don't worry; we know you love us too" and he squeezed my hand and smiled and nodded.

I snuck back in after we'd said our official goodbyes. I just wanted to see him one more time, to tell him I loved him one more time and to see his bright blue eyes twinkling and sparkling again (I still haven't met anyone with eyes as blue as Pop-pop's). The aide was soothing him with a wet cloth, trying to make him comfortable; but she stepped aside so I could have one more word. "Pop-pop, I love you so much. Next time I see you, you're not going to be in pain anymore." And he looked at me and smiled and squeezed my hand again.

I'm thankful that I got to say goodbye. I'm thankful that he recognized each of us. A couple days before he died, he called my mom by her first name for the first time since his move to Maryland. That doesn't just happen. God gave us each an amazing gift.

I'm thankful that he spent the last four months of his life in Maryland. When we made the decision to move them there, the doctors had said he wouldn't walk again and that he needed to have round-the-clock care. We told him and Gramarie that they were going to live with the person who loved them the most in the world-- my mom. And boy, did she prove that she did! Pop-pop walked again-- often more than he was supposed to (he would constantly forget that he was supposed to use a walker); but he walked again. And he got to be with Gramarie to the very end.

I'm thankful for the role model he was to his family. He taught us not to take family for granted. He showed us that good friends are really just extended family (it took me quite a while to figure out Uncle Ken wasn't actually related to us-- he was "just" Pop-pop's best friend!).

I'm thankful that I'll see him again. I believe that he met Jesus as his Savior and that I'll see him when I get to heaven. I'm excited to see him as I can't even remember him-- free of all physical ailments. Not only will he be talking and walking again; he'll be singing and dancing! Today I was imagining him and Grandpa seeing each other; hanging out waiting for the rest of us to get there and join them in worshiping God. And I can't wait!

I'm thankful that I was in New York when I got the news. I missed the initial phone call, but when I saw I'd missed a call from my dad and had texts from him and Tim, I knew the news that was waiting for me. But close on the heels of the news was Tim's text, asking if I wanted him to come into the city to hang out so I didn't have to spend the evening alone. No sooner had I responded to the text than my phone rang-- this time it was Steve making sure I was okay and asking if I wanted to hang out. So the three of us met up, hung out, and reminisced about Pop-pop.... what he loved, what he taught us, what we loved about him. And yes, we had Manhattans and chocolate ice cream in his honor.

I'm thankful for friends who have been lifting up Pop-pop, my family, and me over the past several days, months, and even years. What a long road it's been from the onset of the Alzheimers until now! I'm thankful for the encouragement of friends who drove to Cape Cod with me to see my grandparents while they were in the home and who drove to Maryland with me to see them when they moved in with Mom and Dad. I'm thankful for friends who never got to meet Pop-pop but still prayed and encouraged from where they were. I'm thankful for all the friends who spoke (and speak!) God's promises to me when I struggle to remember them for myself.

I'm thankful that I knew Pop-pop for 28-- almost 29-- years of my life. I'm sad that my kids will never meet him. But boy, will I have stories to tell them about him!