Is it morning yet?

I am a do-er. I like to set goals and work towards them; I hate sitting around waiting for others to get things done or just hoping that everything somehow will work itself out. Now before you start thinking that this is noble, I'll interrupt your thoughts to tell you this is problematic-- for me, anyway. Because I hate waiting. For emails (see post from two days ago), for jobs (haha, read this whole blog!), for people who are meeting me for dinner, for God.

My "big brother" George always tells me, "Be still and know that He is God." And I'll say, "I know, but...." and he'll interrupt and say a bit louder, "Be still and know that He is God."

So tonight I was journaling about my future and the decisions I have to make and how I wish I knew what God wanted me to do so I could just work towards it (sound familiar? You must have read the rest of my blog....). And then George's voice-- God's words, but George's voice-- playing in my head: "Anne, be still and know that He is God."

So I took out my Bible to look at the rest of the chapter. And I saw stuff that I hadn't seen before. (Note: it makes me nervous to put my personal understandings of Scripture here for everyone to see... I have not gone to seminary; I know I'm in danger of taking this out of context or missing some key nuance of the original Hebrew text. But this is my blog, so bear with me-- this is what God taught me today....)

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. He is with me now, he is real and he is helping me. He is protecting me.
Therefore we will not fear-- why should we, when the God of the universe has declared himself our protector-- though the earth gives way. Though the whole world falls apart-- not just the physical world through natural disasters; but my world.... when it seems like my whole world is falling apart, I will not be afraid. I will hide in God.
....
God is in the midst of [the city of God]; she shall not be moved. And then this..... I hadn't ever seen this before: God will help her when morning dawns. Why not now? Why doesn't it say "God will help her when she is in danger? or scared? or lonely? or overwhelmed?" Why would he wait til morning? Ah, probably because it's peaceful at night so she doesn't need help anyway. Right? No....
The nations rage, the kingdoms totter. The world is falling apart. Hmm... that sounds familiar. Oh right, verse 2: I will not be afraid, even when the world's falling apart. Should I be? No....
He utters his voice, the earth melts. Just a word, that's all it takes. Morning must have dawned, because now he is helping her. He will help her when morning dawns-- his timing is not my timing, but his timing is perfect. And then....
Come behold the works of the Lord...
and there's a whole list of all these things that God has done. Where is the to-do list for the people? What was their job?

Be still, and know that I am God.

What is my job?

Be still, and know that I am God.

And he will help me, when morning dawns. In his perfect timing, he will make everything clear.

Lord, give me grace and faith to wait for morning.