I got two pedicures for my birthday. One I got in the form of a gift certificate (thanks Ellen!!); the other I got in the form of a sermon. Weird, right? Let me explain...
Pastor Simbala at Brooklyn Tabernacle this past Sunday preached from Romans 10:10-15. He called it "Gospel Rewind." The passage, in case you're not familiar with it, goes like this:
For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved. As the Scripture says, "Anyone who trusts in him will never be put to shame. "For there is no difference between Jew and Gentile—the same Lord is Lord of all and richly blesses all who call on him, for, "Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved." How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can they preach unless they are sent? As it is written, "How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!"
He talked about simple the gospel is: IF people believe in Jesus, THEN they will be saved. They don't have to be Baptists or Catholics or sprinkled or dunked or do a certain number of good works. All we need to do to be saved is to believe in Jesus Christ. It's simple, really. But the passage keeps going.... How can people believe if they don't KNOW? And how can they know if they haven't HEARD? And how can they hear if they haven't been TOLD? And how can they be told unless WE are SENT?
I like to think I love people. I care a lot about my family, my friends, my co-workers, even my acquaintances. But this sermon challenged me all over again if I really love people. Do I love them enough to tell them about Jesus? Do I love them enough to be thought a fool or a crazy Christian for the sake of sharing the gospel with them? Is bringing the good news always the ultimate goal of my interactions? Not because I want them to be like me or to think I'm something special-- but because I love them enough to want them to spend eternity in heaven. I can't take anything with me when I die-- not success, not money, not possessions-- but I can see the people I love in heaven. That should be enough motivation right there!
I want to have beautiful feet. With all the walking I do in the city, I'm not sure I can ever get enough spa pedicures to make that possible. But here I have the secret to the kind of beautiful feet that really matters: bringing the good news to others!
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Monday, August 30, 2010
My Golden Birthday
29 on the 29th. I always love birthdays, but I've been especially excited about this one because it's the Golden Birthday, and I only get one of those! And if the day is a foreshadowing of the year, I'm really looking forward to this, my Golden Year.
To be honest, I was a little nervous about this birthday even though I was excited too. Last year I had my HouseBirthWarmingDay party, with more than 75 people coming through my new house, wishing me well and celebrating my 28th birthday with me. This year, I'm in a new city where I only know a handful of people. Is this going to be the loneliest day ever? Gretchen had planned a small party for me in the evening, but the rest of my day was wide open. She was in a wedding in Indiana this weekend, so she wasn't going to get home until the late afternoon (yes, she really did throw me a party a whopping thirty minutes after walking in the door after a crazy wedding weekend. True friendship? I think so too). I'd planned to hang out with Steve and Ellen in the morning, but then it turned out this was his only day to move into his new apartment. One of my friends was going to come up from Philly last night and spend all of today with me, but she had a family emergency and wasn't able to come.
Okay, God. I'm beginning to understand that this day is going to be more about you and me. Help me to rework my expectations and to embrace whatever else you have planned for my day.
So I got up and went to the 9am service at Brooklyn Tabernacle. At the risk of sounding cheesy, the whole service felt like a birthday present from God. As we sang about God's love, how deep and high and wide it is, I was just overwhelmed to think how much God loves me. And that he loves me better than I can love myself-- another reminder to trust his plan for my life instead of my own. I'll have to write a whole different entry about what I learned from the sermon, but suffice it to say, it was exactly what I needed to hear as he challenged us to live in the light of eternity and not to be distracted by what Satan wants us to think is important. We finished out with the song about God being mighty to save-- another needed reminder that Jesus has conquered the grave and nothing is impossible for him.
I'd gotten a "free birthday drink" coupon in the mail from Starbucks, so after church I cashed it in and took my iced soy chai latte (my favorite drink that I only get on very special occasions) to a park a couple blocks from my house. One of my best friends had given me a card and gift that said "Do not open until your birthday"-- and on the other side it said "Sorry.... not til Sunday" (she knows me too well!). So I took it with me to the park and sat on a bench in the sun and opened the gift and read the card, then took out my journal and wrote a bit.
After a little while, I headed back home and did some leisurely prep for the party. I was a little nervous about the guest list-- several different groups of people who didn't know each other. Is this going to be disastrous? But it wasn't; not at all. I sat there with friends who have known me my whole life (okay, just one has known me my whole life, and that's my older brother; but Steve and Josh have known me for pretty long too) and friends who I just met when I started working at Alice's in June. I had close friends from Philly and new friends who are getting to be close friends here in New York. And I just felt blessed.
I really was nervous it was going to be a lonely day. But it wasn't at all-- far from it, in fact. Even in my "alone hours," I had constant reminders from God and from others (texts and emails and phone calls-- oh, and who can forget the Facebook wall posts?!) that many people are walking alongside me and loving me, even from afar.
I want to write something about how much I appreciate all of my friends and my family, but everything I start to type sounds cheesy. Yep, I just tried to expound on that, and it sounded cheesy too. So please accept it at face value-- friends and family, I love you, appreciate you, and am thankful to God for putting you in my life.
So like I said, with all of you beside me, I'm pretty excited about this next year!
To be honest, I was a little nervous about this birthday even though I was excited too. Last year I had my HouseBirthWarmingDay party, with more than 75 people coming through my new house, wishing me well and celebrating my 28th birthday with me. This year, I'm in a new city where I only know a handful of people. Is this going to be the loneliest day ever? Gretchen had planned a small party for me in the evening, but the rest of my day was wide open. She was in a wedding in Indiana this weekend, so she wasn't going to get home until the late afternoon (yes, she really did throw me a party a whopping thirty minutes after walking in the door after a crazy wedding weekend. True friendship? I think so too). I'd planned to hang out with Steve and Ellen in the morning, but then it turned out this was his only day to move into his new apartment. One of my friends was going to come up from Philly last night and spend all of today with me, but she had a family emergency and wasn't able to come.
Okay, God. I'm beginning to understand that this day is going to be more about you and me. Help me to rework my expectations and to embrace whatever else you have planned for my day.
So I got up and went to the 9am service at Brooklyn Tabernacle. At the risk of sounding cheesy, the whole service felt like a birthday present from God. As we sang about God's love, how deep and high and wide it is, I was just overwhelmed to think how much God loves me. And that he loves me better than I can love myself-- another reminder to trust his plan for my life instead of my own. I'll have to write a whole different entry about what I learned from the sermon, but suffice it to say, it was exactly what I needed to hear as he challenged us to live in the light of eternity and not to be distracted by what Satan wants us to think is important. We finished out with the song about God being mighty to save-- another needed reminder that Jesus has conquered the grave and nothing is impossible for him.
I'd gotten a "free birthday drink" coupon in the mail from Starbucks, so after church I cashed it in and took my iced soy chai latte (my favorite drink that I only get on very special occasions) to a park a couple blocks from my house. One of my best friends had given me a card and gift that said "Do not open until your birthday"-- and on the other side it said "Sorry.... not til Sunday" (she knows me too well!). So I took it with me to the park and sat on a bench in the sun and opened the gift and read the card, then took out my journal and wrote a bit.
After a little while, I headed back home and did some leisurely prep for the party. I was a little nervous about the guest list-- several different groups of people who didn't know each other. Is this going to be disastrous? But it wasn't; not at all. I sat there with friends who have known me my whole life (okay, just one has known me my whole life, and that's my older brother; but Steve and Josh have known me for pretty long too) and friends who I just met when I started working at Alice's in June. I had close friends from Philly and new friends who are getting to be close friends here in New York. And I just felt blessed.
I really was nervous it was going to be a lonely day. But it wasn't at all-- far from it, in fact. Even in my "alone hours," I had constant reminders from God and from others (texts and emails and phone calls-- oh, and who can forget the Facebook wall posts?!) that many people are walking alongside me and loving me, even from afar.
I want to write something about how much I appreciate all of my friends and my family, but everything I start to type sounds cheesy. Yep, I just tried to expound on that, and it sounded cheesy too. So please accept it at face value-- friends and family, I love you, appreciate you, and am thankful to God for putting you in my life.
So like I said, with all of you beside me, I'm pretty excited about this next year!
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Too many books....
My grandparents used to swear our house was going to collapse because my parents had so many books. Turns out, some problems are hereditary. I was an English major by choice, a bibliophile by birth. The end result? Way. Too. Many. Books.
I went to Philly yesterday to get some of my stuff while I still have my car. My plan was to grab a few books, a few clothes, and just a couple other odds and ends. I guess I'm an optimist, because it never once occurred to me that I'd run out of space in my car. Oh, but I did!! I went to the liquor store to grab some boxes, and the woman told me I could have five.
Oh lady, you have not seen my book collection. But I took the five and headed back to my house. Thankfully, I found several other boxes in the living room closet and in the basement that I could use (and yes, in my search for boxes I did also find more boxes of books that I'd never even unpacked yet....). I easily filled all of those empty boxes and the five new ones, but I still had shelves full of books. Sheepishly, I headed back to the liquor store.
Do you think I could possibly, um, have a few more boxes?
"Like how many?"
Three??
"Yeah, that's fine. You should take that big one on the bottom over there."
Sweet, thanks! You know how once you start packing, you realize how much stuff you actually have?
"I sure do-- that's why I just moved for the last time for a loooooong time."
Yeah, that's what I said this time last year when I was unpacking.
As I packed box after box and then carried box after bin after box to the basement and to my car, I couldn't help remembering unpacking them all exactly a year ago: The good news is, I don't have to move again for a very long time!-- I had said. Famous. Last. Words.
It hit me hard while I was driving back home to New York. Home. To New York. Away from Philly, the place that was supposed to be home. I feel like a failure. When I left in May, there was a chance I was coming back at the end of the summer. This time is for real; it's official that my attempt to "settle down" didn't work.
My parents stopped in New York today to see all of us kids and to celebrate my birthday as a family. I called Tim last night to talk about the details. After we talked for a few minutes,
"Are you sick? Or crying? Or tired?"
Um.....
"What's wrong?"
Today was just hard. I can't believe I'm leaving Philly. It's not that I want to stay-- it's that I'm upset that I don't want to stay. I feel like a failure and I'm exhausted and I'm drained and I have to carry all this stuff up three flights of stairs and it's late and I have to work in the morning.....
"How far are you from home?"
About an hour-- I'll probably get there around 10.
"Do you want me to come help you unload?"
I told him not to come-- told him that I would be okay doing it by myself, I was just drained and feeling overwhelmed. As I was unloading, Steve called me: "Are you going to be okay unloading by yourself? I can be there in a half hour." I told him the same thing I'd told Tim-- that I really appreciated his offer but that I would be okay (and that I'd save the books in the trunk for when they come over for my birthday).
So I have all these books that I carry from place to place to place. I'm not sure where or if they'll ever find a permanent home. But in the meantime, I'm glad that I have brothers who are willing to help me carry them around. I mean, I can carry them by myself; I proved that yesterday-- but there sure is something amazing about knowing there are people who are willing to help you carry your burdens or your books, whatever the case may be.
I went to Philly yesterday to get some of my stuff while I still have my car. My plan was to grab a few books, a few clothes, and just a couple other odds and ends. I guess I'm an optimist, because it never once occurred to me that I'd run out of space in my car. Oh, but I did!! I went to the liquor store to grab some boxes, and the woman told me I could have five.
Oh lady, you have not seen my book collection. But I took the five and headed back to my house. Thankfully, I found several other boxes in the living room closet and in the basement that I could use (and yes, in my search for boxes I did also find more boxes of books that I'd never even unpacked yet....). I easily filled all of those empty boxes and the five new ones, but I still had shelves full of books. Sheepishly, I headed back to the liquor store.
Do you think I could possibly, um, have a few more boxes?
"Like how many?"
Three??
"Yeah, that's fine. You should take that big one on the bottom over there."
Sweet, thanks! You know how once you start packing, you realize how much stuff you actually have?
"I sure do-- that's why I just moved for the last time for a loooooong time."
Yeah, that's what I said this time last year when I was unpacking.
As I packed box after box and then carried box after bin after box to the basement and to my car, I couldn't help remembering unpacking them all exactly a year ago: The good news is, I don't have to move again for a very long time!-- I had said. Famous. Last. Words.
It hit me hard while I was driving back home to New York. Home. To New York. Away from Philly, the place that was supposed to be home. I feel like a failure. When I left in May, there was a chance I was coming back at the end of the summer. This time is for real; it's official that my attempt to "settle down" didn't work.
My parents stopped in New York today to see all of us kids and to celebrate my birthday as a family. I called Tim last night to talk about the details. After we talked for a few minutes,
"Are you sick? Or crying? Or tired?"
Um.....
"What's wrong?"
Today was just hard. I can't believe I'm leaving Philly. It's not that I want to stay-- it's that I'm upset that I don't want to stay. I feel like a failure and I'm exhausted and I'm drained and I have to carry all this stuff up three flights of stairs and it's late and I have to work in the morning.....
"How far are you from home?"
About an hour-- I'll probably get there around 10.
"Do you want me to come help you unload?"
I told him not to come-- told him that I would be okay doing it by myself, I was just drained and feeling overwhelmed. As I was unloading, Steve called me: "Are you going to be okay unloading by yourself? I can be there in a half hour." I told him the same thing I'd told Tim-- that I really appreciated his offer but that I would be okay (and that I'd save the books in the trunk for when they come over for my birthday).
So I have all these books that I carry from place to place to place. I'm not sure where or if they'll ever find a permanent home. But in the meantime, I'm glad that I have brothers who are willing to help me carry them around. I mean, I can carry them by myself; I proved that yesterday-- but there sure is something amazing about knowing there are people who are willing to help you carry your burdens or your books, whatever the case may be.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Break me through
Today I woke up early,
Today I woke up sad.
It's the beginning of a song by Bebo Norman, but it describes my day well. I woke up early because I was opening the restaurant today-- which meant I had to leave my apartment by 6:40. I woke up sad because.... well, I guess I'm not really sure why. But I just did. And I didn't get less sad as the day went on. Work was crazy and I was so tired that I just wasn't on top of things like I needed to be. When I left work and started to run errands, I walked around New York and just felt lonely. Usually I love the crowds-- love that I don't know everyone and that there are just so many people everywhere. Today I looked around for someone-- anyone-- that I recognized.... and then felt increasingly lonely as I didn't see a single familiar face. When I lived in Philly I literally couldn't leave my house without running into someone I knew. It got overwhelming for me at times, but today that's what I was itching for.
I decided I needed to hang out with God tonight, so I grabbed my journal and my Bible and headed to the Starbucks across the street (less to distract me there, believe it or not). Wanting to hear Jesus' own words, I flipped to John 17 and read the prayer that Jesus prayed for his disciples-- the prayer that Jesus prayed for me:
"I pray for them. I am not praying for the world, but for those you have given me, for they are yours." There is an amazing freedom and comfort in knowing that I am God's.
"All I have is yours, and all you have is mine. And glory has come to me through them." Through me?? Thank you, Lord, for using me to bring glory to yourself.
"I will remain in the world no longer, but they are still in the world, and I am coming to you. Holy Father, protect them by the power of your name—the name you gave me—so that they may be one as we are one." Thank you, Lord, that you have not left me but have given me your Holy Spirit. Thank you that you will protect me-- because your name is above all earthly power, so what is there for me to be afraid of?
"While I was with them, I protected them and kept them safe by that name you gave me. None has been lost except the one doomed to destruction so that Scripture would be fulfilled. I am coming to you now, but I say these things while I am still in the world, so that they may have the full measure of my joy within them." Oh Lord, I want the full measure of your joy! Give me joy knowing that you are powerful to protect me and keep me safe-- and joy in the knowledge that you have not left me alone.
"I have given them your word and the world has hated them, for they are not of the world any more than I am of the world. My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one." I have left the "Christian bubble," and it can be so scary and difficult at times. Protect me from the evil one. Help me to care more about your smile than the smiles of my peers. I also ask that you not take me out of the world, but that you would protect me from temptation as I go about the work you have given me to do.
"They are not of the world, even as I am not of it." Yes Lord, help me not to find my identity in the world but in you.
"Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth." Ah yes.... the importance of staying in The Word daily, so that I might be sanctified-- kept apart and kept pure. Sanctify me by your truth which I find in the pages of your Word. May your Spirit remind me of the truth when my memory fails me...
"As you sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world." Give me strength for the task ahead.
"For them I sanctify myself, that they too may be truly sanctified." You are all-powerful, and by your power I will be sanctified too.
"My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me." God, we can get so distracted by our differences; help us to remember the common bond we have in you. Thank you that I am not alone, but that you have placed me in a family of your children.
"I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one: I in them and you in me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me." I'm afraid that those around me don't see you clearly enough through my love for others. Father, forgive me and help me to love others as you love them-- so that the world may know you.
"Father, I want those you have given me to be with me where I am, and to see my glory, the glory you have given me because you loved me before the creation of the world." Yes Lord, I want to see your glory, too. And I want to be with you all the time. Thank you that you've made this so because of your Spirit. Thank you that you have loved me, too, before the creation of the world. If you've loved me that long, why do I ever question that you'd stop now?!
The rest of this Bebo Norman song is about feeling lonely and how God breaks through that loneliness with his presence:
Show me that
Life shines with you.
You show me that
Life shines with you.
Break me through....
So yes, today I woke up early and today I woke up sad. I think my biggest fear in life is being lonely, and I have to face that fear on a daily basis. Some days I'm okay, and some days I'm sad about it. I think Satan knows it's a good place to hit me-- forgetting Emmanuel, God with us. God with me!
I am not alone. I will never be alone. Because God has loved me since before the creation of the world.
Today I woke up sad.
It's the beginning of a song by Bebo Norman, but it describes my day well. I woke up early because I was opening the restaurant today-- which meant I had to leave my apartment by 6:40. I woke up sad because.... well, I guess I'm not really sure why. But I just did. And I didn't get less sad as the day went on. Work was crazy and I was so tired that I just wasn't on top of things like I needed to be. When I left work and started to run errands, I walked around New York and just felt lonely. Usually I love the crowds-- love that I don't know everyone and that there are just so many people everywhere. Today I looked around for someone-- anyone-- that I recognized.... and then felt increasingly lonely as I didn't see a single familiar face. When I lived in Philly I literally couldn't leave my house without running into someone I knew. It got overwhelming for me at times, but today that's what I was itching for.
I decided I needed to hang out with God tonight, so I grabbed my journal and my Bible and headed to the Starbucks across the street (less to distract me there, believe it or not). Wanting to hear Jesus' own words, I flipped to John 17 and read the prayer that Jesus prayed for his disciples-- the prayer that Jesus prayed for me:
"I pray for them. I am not praying for the world, but for those you have given me, for they are yours." There is an amazing freedom and comfort in knowing that I am God's.
"All I have is yours, and all you have is mine. And glory has come to me through them." Through me?? Thank you, Lord, for using me to bring glory to yourself.
"I will remain in the world no longer, but they are still in the world, and I am coming to you. Holy Father, protect them by the power of your name—the name you gave me—so that they may be one as we are one." Thank you, Lord, that you have not left me but have given me your Holy Spirit. Thank you that you will protect me-- because your name is above all earthly power, so what is there for me to be afraid of?
"While I was with them, I protected them and kept them safe by that name you gave me. None has been lost except the one doomed to destruction so that Scripture would be fulfilled. I am coming to you now, but I say these things while I am still in the world, so that they may have the full measure of my joy within them." Oh Lord, I want the full measure of your joy! Give me joy knowing that you are powerful to protect me and keep me safe-- and joy in the knowledge that you have not left me alone.
"I have given them your word and the world has hated them, for they are not of the world any more than I am of the world. My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one." I have left the "Christian bubble," and it can be so scary and difficult at times. Protect me from the evil one. Help me to care more about your smile than the smiles of my peers. I also ask that you not take me out of the world, but that you would protect me from temptation as I go about the work you have given me to do.
"They are not of the world, even as I am not of it." Yes Lord, help me not to find my identity in the world but in you.
"Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth." Ah yes.... the importance of staying in The Word daily, so that I might be sanctified-- kept apart and kept pure. Sanctify me by your truth which I find in the pages of your Word. May your Spirit remind me of the truth when my memory fails me...
"As you sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world." Give me strength for the task ahead.
"For them I sanctify myself, that they too may be truly sanctified." You are all-powerful, and by your power I will be sanctified too.
"My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me." God, we can get so distracted by our differences; help us to remember the common bond we have in you. Thank you that I am not alone, but that you have placed me in a family of your children.
"I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one: I in them and you in me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me." I'm afraid that those around me don't see you clearly enough through my love for others. Father, forgive me and help me to love others as you love them-- so that the world may know you.
"Father, I want those you have given me to be with me where I am, and to see my glory, the glory you have given me because you loved me before the creation of the world." Yes Lord, I want to see your glory, too. And I want to be with you all the time. Thank you that you've made this so because of your Spirit. Thank you that you have loved me, too, before the creation of the world. If you've loved me that long, why do I ever question that you'd stop now?!
The rest of this Bebo Norman song is about feeling lonely and how God breaks through that loneliness with his presence:
Show me that
Life shines with you.
You show me that
Life shines with you.
Break me through....
So yes, today I woke up early and today I woke up sad. I think my biggest fear in life is being lonely, and I have to face that fear on a daily basis. Some days I'm okay, and some days I'm sad about it. I think Satan knows it's a good place to hit me-- forgetting Emmanuel, God with us. God with me!
I am not alone. I will never be alone. Because God has loved me since before the creation of the world.
Monday, August 23, 2010
101
The woman sitting across from me on the subway this morning pulled a book out of her bag and started reading. Always curious (okay fine, I'm nosey), I looked to see what book it was. All I could see was 101.
Hmm... 101 what? 101 ways to be successful? 101 things to be happy about? 101 ways to annoy people? 101 places you should see before you die? 101 what?!?!
I'm not really sure what the thought progression was, but I found myself wondering If I had to write a book on 101 things I was thankful for, could I do it? And so I started listing....
for my dad.
for my mom.
for my brothers.
for my dogs (this is a serious one-- they're the cutest!)
for my friends.... (and I started listing different ones.... maybe this was cheating? I got pretty high on my count just this way. And then realized that, too, was another thing to be thankful for!).
for my salvation.
for God's faithfulness.
for God's mercy.
for God's power.
for the chance to live in New York.
for safety this weekend when I was driving.
for an amazing extended family (and I started listing again.... another way to boost the count easily -- again, another thing to be thankful for).
for the chance I had to live in England.
for the time I had in Philly and the great friends I still have there.
for the opportunity to buy a house, even if I don't understand all the "why's" of it right now.
for my basketball team.
for rain and the chance to walk in it (I know it's weird, but puddle-jumping is one of my favorite things).
for sunshine and warmth.
for the presence of God with me.
for my job at Alice's-- that I love it, that I have friends there, that I'm employed at all.
for the chance to live with one of my best friends.
for getting to see Betsie a couple weekends ago.
for living near Steve and seeing him a couple times a week instead of every other month.
for Ellen living in NYC too and for getting to know her so much better.
for friends who remind me to believe the promises.
for Lindsay and Lindsey deciding to stay at The Elle for another year-- and for the provision of a third roommate for them.
for Carl's incredible help in taking care of my house.
for Craig and Josh's willingness to be on call for housing stuff.
for healing for my hand after surgery.
for my Hillsdale professors.
for my students who still let me be involved in their lives.
for the salvation of many of my students.
for my parents' house in Maryland.
for the fact that my grandma lives with them now and not in Cape Cod by herself.
.... and on and on and on-- but I realized as I continued to list, that there is no shortage of things to be thankful for. And God kept reminding me of different little things I've prayed for that he had granted-- so many details of my life where God has shown up.
And isn't this what you've been fighting to believe? That God cares about the details of your life?
I definitely exceeded 101 reasons to be thankful. I walked from the subway to work with a smile on my face. God cares about the details of your life-- he's shown you again and again. Trust him, and rest in him. And be joyful because you know he cares for you!
Hmm... 101 what? 101 ways to be successful? 101 things to be happy about? 101 ways to annoy people? 101 places you should see before you die? 101 what?!?!
I'm not really sure what the thought progression was, but I found myself wondering If I had to write a book on 101 things I was thankful for, could I do it? And so I started listing....
for my dad.
for my mom.
for my brothers.
for my dogs (this is a serious one-- they're the cutest!)
for my friends.... (and I started listing different ones.... maybe this was cheating? I got pretty high on my count just this way. And then realized that, too, was another thing to be thankful for!).
for my salvation.
for God's faithfulness.
for God's mercy.
for God's power.
for the chance to live in New York.
for safety this weekend when I was driving.
for an amazing extended family (and I started listing again.... another way to boost the count easily -- again, another thing to be thankful for).
for the chance I had to live in England.
for the time I had in Philly and the great friends I still have there.
for the opportunity to buy a house, even if I don't understand all the "why's" of it right now.
for my basketball team.
for rain and the chance to walk in it (I know it's weird, but puddle-jumping is one of my favorite things).
for sunshine and warmth.
for the presence of God with me.
for my job at Alice's-- that I love it, that I have friends there, that I'm employed at all.
for the chance to live with one of my best friends.
for getting to see Betsie a couple weekends ago.
for living near Steve and seeing him a couple times a week instead of every other month.
for Ellen living in NYC too and for getting to know her so much better.
for friends who remind me to believe the promises.
for Lindsay and Lindsey deciding to stay at The Elle for another year-- and for the provision of a third roommate for them.
for Carl's incredible help in taking care of my house.
for Craig and Josh's willingness to be on call for housing stuff.
for healing for my hand after surgery.
for my Hillsdale professors.
for my students who still let me be involved in their lives.
for the salvation of many of my students.
for my parents' house in Maryland.
for the fact that my grandma lives with them now and not in Cape Cod by herself.
.... and on and on and on-- but I realized as I continued to list, that there is no shortage of things to be thankful for. And God kept reminding me of different little things I've prayed for that he had granted-- so many details of my life where God has shown up.
And isn't this what you've been fighting to believe? That God cares about the details of your life?
I definitely exceeded 101 reasons to be thankful. I walked from the subway to work with a smile on my face. God cares about the details of your life-- he's shown you again and again. Trust him, and rest in him. And be joyful because you know he cares for you!
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Saying goodbye to Sydney
I washed and vacuumed my car very thoroughly today. After almost five fun-filled years, I'm saying goodbye to Sydney (named for the hero of A Tale of Two Cities) as part of my decision to stay in Brooklyn. So today I took him to a car wash and had them wash the outside. Then I spent about a half hour vacuuming out the inside-- I wonder if all that sand is from this summer or if it stuck around from previous expeditions?
I'm pretty bummed about having to sell my car. I mean, I know it makes sense; but we've just been through a lot together. I started reminiscing as I was driving back to my grandmother's. I remember....
...test-driving the car and stalling (it's a stick-shift) and then grinding the gears in my haste to make it better (this made the salesman pretty upset!).
...debating whether to get the car in red or black. I thought black would be more responsible, but my dad encouraged me to get the red since it would probably be my last shot at having my dream car. And I remember Danielle telling me she'd be upset with me if I got black because it was proven not to be as safe on the road. I listened to both of them and haven't regretted it once.
...about two days after I got my car and was still getting comfortable with driving stick, I drove some of my students to a basketball game and Tim Justnes had to coach me through starting on a hill. I made it all the way to where we were playing the game-- and then stalled in the parking lot in front of everyone else.
...driving Lucy home from Lancaster-- Steve drove so I could hold her, and she slept in my lap the whole way.
...many roadtrips with Lucy-- she loves being in the car and would just hop in the backseat and go to sleep as soon as we got on the road. To this day, when I visit my parents and it's time for me to go, she'll run and jump in the car (we have to explain to her that Sydney and I are going back to the city and that she's already made it clear she doesn't like it there).
...washing and waxing my car with my dad-- one of my favorite bonding things we do.
...roadtripping with Betsie for her wedding-- I drove up to New Hampshire to get her and then we drove out to Ohio for the wedding. We had some pretty sweet mix CDs for our journey!
...cramming my basketball girls into the car for games or to take them home after team hangouts.
...driving people to the apple orchard for our (what-has-become) annual apple picking and pie party.
...how Sydney turned into the "beach-mobile" several times each summer.... oh right, hence all the sand I'm still vacuuming out.....
...tying many various Christmas trees to the roof.
...so many other roadtrips-- to Michigan, to Maryland, to Cape Cod, to Erie, to Virginia....
I remember when I was deciding to buy a new car, my dad encouraged me to get a few of the extras. "You're young," he said, "and by the time you buy another car, you'll probably be taking kids and a mortgage into consideration. This is probably your last shot at having your dream car."
Sydney really is my dream car. I love that he's red and sporty and zippy and a stick-shift. I love that Sydney has taken me to visit many friends and been a huge part of making memories with others. So now I'm getting ready to say goodbye to Sydney, and I'm gonna miss him. Like I said, we've been through a lot together. 49,000 miles, to be exact.
I'm pretty bummed about having to sell my car. I mean, I know it makes sense; but we've just been through a lot together. I started reminiscing as I was driving back to my grandmother's. I remember....
...test-driving the car and stalling (it's a stick-shift) and then grinding the gears in my haste to make it better (this made the salesman pretty upset!).
...debating whether to get the car in red or black. I thought black would be more responsible, but my dad encouraged me to get the red since it would probably be my last shot at having my dream car. And I remember Danielle telling me she'd be upset with me if I got black because it was proven not to be as safe on the road. I listened to both of them and haven't regretted it once.
...about two days after I got my car and was still getting comfortable with driving stick, I drove some of my students to a basketball game and Tim Justnes had to coach me through starting on a hill. I made it all the way to where we were playing the game-- and then stalled in the parking lot in front of everyone else.
...driving Lucy home from Lancaster-- Steve drove so I could hold her, and she slept in my lap the whole way.
...many roadtrips with Lucy-- she loves being in the car and would just hop in the backseat and go to sleep as soon as we got on the road. To this day, when I visit my parents and it's time for me to go, she'll run and jump in the car (we have to explain to her that Sydney and I are going back to the city and that she's already made it clear she doesn't like it there).
...washing and waxing my car with my dad-- one of my favorite bonding things we do.
...roadtripping with Betsie for her wedding-- I drove up to New Hampshire to get her and then we drove out to Ohio for the wedding. We had some pretty sweet mix CDs for our journey!
...cramming my basketball girls into the car for games or to take them home after team hangouts.
...driving people to the apple orchard for our (what-has-become) annual apple picking and pie party.
...how Sydney turned into the "beach-mobile" several times each summer.... oh right, hence all the sand I'm still vacuuming out.....
...tying many various Christmas trees to the roof.
...so many other roadtrips-- to Michigan, to Maryland, to Cape Cod, to Erie, to Virginia....
I remember when I was deciding to buy a new car, my dad encouraged me to get a few of the extras. "You're young," he said, "and by the time you buy another car, you'll probably be taking kids and a mortgage into consideration. This is probably your last shot at having your dream car."
Sydney really is my dream car. I love that he's red and sporty and zippy and a stick-shift. I love that Sydney has taken me to visit many friends and been a huge part of making memories with others. So now I'm getting ready to say goodbye to Sydney, and I'm gonna miss him. Like I said, we've been through a lot together. 49,000 miles, to be exact.
Friday, August 20, 2010
The wonder of a kitchen table
Anyone who has been to my dad's parents' home is familiar with the wonder that is the kitchen table. There's gotten to be a ritual for any visit to their home: if you were to show up one evening, you would enter the house through the garage-- the door would have been waiting open for you so you could walk straight in-- and step into the kitchen where my Grandpa would always be stirring the pot of soup that he'd put on earlier in the evening in anticipation of your arrival. After exchanging greetings and carrying your bag in, you'd take a spot at The Kitchen Table, where the evening would begin-- regardless of what time you arrived (often, for us, close to or way past midnight).
I'm not really sure what it is about this table that invites conversation, but I do know that once you're sitting there, anything and everything is fair game. I've sat at that table countless times and talked about my college classes, moving to England and then back to the States and then to Philly and then to Brooklyn, friends, politics, boys, God, career options, the family..... everything, really. Eventually everyone would get tired and head to bed, but Grandma would still be ready to talk-- she turned 93 in June, but she still stays up later than any of us! I learned quickly to stay up with her, because those one-on-one times are some of the best conversations I've ever had. She'd listen to me process through stuff and then challenge my assumptions and encourage me not to settle for anything less than the best. She believes and lives like "to whom much is given, much shall be required" actually applies to all areas of life. And so, she pushes us to use each strength to its fullest potential. Grandma was the #1 motivating influence for why I went to grad school in England after college.
Tonight I walked in through the garage door, and Grandma was the one stirring the soup. I'll admit I got nervous for a moment when Grandma and I sat down at the kitchen table-- It's so different without Grandpa here; it still feels so strange. But only for a moment. Because soon it was just like old times and I was telling Grandma all about Brooklyn and Alice's and getting her advice about life.
My favorite Erie memories take place around that kitchen table. I've come to cherish the conversations with my grandma when I can ask her about life and love and whatever else is weighing heavily on my mind. But I also wouldn't trade the memories of the whole family squeezed around that table. Anyone who walks through that door-- whether it's a neighbor or an aide for my disabled uncle or other family that lives in town-- is welcomed and invited to join the group at the table. It often gets cozy, but no one would think of complaining. Sure, we could move into the dining room where there's more room; but I think everyone knows there's something special about that kitchen table.
I'm not really sure what it is about this table that invites conversation, but I do know that once you're sitting there, anything and everything is fair game. I've sat at that table countless times and talked about my college classes, moving to England and then back to the States and then to Philly and then to Brooklyn, friends, politics, boys, God, career options, the family..... everything, really. Eventually everyone would get tired and head to bed, but Grandma would still be ready to talk-- she turned 93 in June, but she still stays up later than any of us! I learned quickly to stay up with her, because those one-on-one times are some of the best conversations I've ever had. She'd listen to me process through stuff and then challenge my assumptions and encourage me not to settle for anything less than the best. She believes and lives like "to whom much is given, much shall be required" actually applies to all areas of life. And so, she pushes us to use each strength to its fullest potential. Grandma was the #1 motivating influence for why I went to grad school in England after college.
Tonight I walked in through the garage door, and Grandma was the one stirring the soup. I'll admit I got nervous for a moment when Grandma and I sat down at the kitchen table-- It's so different without Grandpa here; it still feels so strange. But only for a moment. Because soon it was just like old times and I was telling Grandma all about Brooklyn and Alice's and getting her advice about life.
My favorite Erie memories take place around that kitchen table. I've come to cherish the conversations with my grandma when I can ask her about life and love and whatever else is weighing heavily on my mind. But I also wouldn't trade the memories of the whole family squeezed around that table. Anyone who walks through that door-- whether it's a neighbor or an aide for my disabled uncle or other family that lives in town-- is welcomed and invited to join the group at the table. It often gets cozy, but no one would think of complaining. Sure, we could move into the dining room where there's more room; but I think everyone knows there's something special about that kitchen table.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Adventures in Puzzling
I don't love jigsaw puzzles. Maybe it's because I don't have the attention span for it and get frustrated too easily. Or maybe it's because I'm just not good at them. One thing I know, though, is that you're always supposed to put the frame of the puzzle together first. Once that's in place-- the theory goes-- it'll be easier to figure out the details that make up the whole picture.
Those of you who have been following my adventures this summer know that I have felt like I'm not only attempting to put a puzzle together, but am also searching for the pieces which are ultimately going to make up this glorious puzzle when it's all finished. (For the record, though, I have enjoyed this process more than I do putting together a normal jigsaw puzzle.)
I haven't finished the puzzle. I guess I don't know if I ever really will. But I'm excited to say I think the frame is finally in place, and I'm even beginning to fill in some of the details. It's been amazing and encouraging to see God's hand in all of it-- handing me puzzle pieces that I couldn't find even with my best searching efforts. Here's what the puzzle-picture looks like so far:
The frame: I'm staying in New York (huge smile). I'm keeping my house (another huge smile). I'm selling my car (huge sad face).
(Some of) The details: Lindsey and Lindsay are staying at The Elle and found a great third roommate. I'm going to keep working at Alice's (I'm not ready to leave yet; I love the people and the work too much-- can't complain about that, right?!) but look for ways to get involved on a part-time or volunteer basis with inner city kids. I'm going to keep living with Gretchen, probably here in the Cobble Hill neighborhood of Brooklyn (still slightly up in the air).
I think one of the things that's been the coolest to me about seeing this much of the puzzle come together is that I made the decision to stay before any of the pieces were really in place-- which has meant that I have an even greater appreciation for seeing the pieces start to fit. A couple weeks ago I started to have a meltdown. I want to stay in New York. And I don't know how to make it work. So I called Steve and asked him if we could talk. We met up after I got off work-- another confirmation of why I want to stay here; I love being able to see my brothers at a moment's notice. I told him that I want to stay and why I want to stay and asked him to help me figure out the logistics. We didn't get super far, but I did leave the conversation knowing that I was really going to stay and with greater confidence that God was going to work out the details. (Side note: I still wrestle with the balance between trusting God v. being presumptuous..... I'm not quite sure where this whole thing fits into that.) It wasn't until the next couple days that things started to come together, but I have felt over the past week or so that God is affirming my decision to stay.
I have no idea what this puzzle's supposed to look like when it's finished; but it's pretty exciting each time God hands me a new piece and I see how it fits in. I still have some pieces that aren't connected to anything and don't make any sense yet-- I'm looking forward to the time when I get a glimpse of the whole big picture!
Those of you who have been following my adventures this summer know that I have felt like I'm not only attempting to put a puzzle together, but am also searching for the pieces which are ultimately going to make up this glorious puzzle when it's all finished. (For the record, though, I have enjoyed this process more than I do putting together a normal jigsaw puzzle.)
I haven't finished the puzzle. I guess I don't know if I ever really will. But I'm excited to say I think the frame is finally in place, and I'm even beginning to fill in some of the details. It's been amazing and encouraging to see God's hand in all of it-- handing me puzzle pieces that I couldn't find even with my best searching efforts. Here's what the puzzle-picture looks like so far:
The frame: I'm staying in New York (huge smile). I'm keeping my house (another huge smile). I'm selling my car (huge sad face).
(Some of) The details: Lindsey and Lindsay are staying at The Elle and found a great third roommate. I'm going to keep working at Alice's (I'm not ready to leave yet; I love the people and the work too much-- can't complain about that, right?!) but look for ways to get involved on a part-time or volunteer basis with inner city kids. I'm going to keep living with Gretchen, probably here in the Cobble Hill neighborhood of Brooklyn (still slightly up in the air).
I think one of the things that's been the coolest to me about seeing this much of the puzzle come together is that I made the decision to stay before any of the pieces were really in place-- which has meant that I have an even greater appreciation for seeing the pieces start to fit. A couple weeks ago I started to have a meltdown. I want to stay in New York. And I don't know how to make it work. So I called Steve and asked him if we could talk. We met up after I got off work-- another confirmation of why I want to stay here; I love being able to see my brothers at a moment's notice. I told him that I want to stay and why I want to stay and asked him to help me figure out the logistics. We didn't get super far, but I did leave the conversation knowing that I was really going to stay and with greater confidence that God was going to work out the details. (Side note: I still wrestle with the balance between trusting God v. being presumptuous..... I'm not quite sure where this whole thing fits into that.) It wasn't until the next couple days that things started to come together, but I have felt over the past week or so that God is affirming my decision to stay.
I have no idea what this puzzle's supposed to look like when it's finished; but it's pretty exciting each time God hands me a new piece and I see how it fits in. I still have some pieces that aren't connected to anything and don't make any sense yet-- I'm looking forward to the time when I get a glimpse of the whole big picture!
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
iphone betrayal
I was sitting on the subway on my way to meet up with Gretchen after work this afternoon. I was so tired, I could barely keep my eyes open. But someone on the train was listening to their music ridiculously loudly so everyone could hear it-- How can their ears take that volume? Don't they know they're gonna go deaf?! I ended up drifting off to sleep between stops. When I opened my eyes, the music was still going strong. I noticed that the woman standing in front of me had her smartphone out. Ah, she has one of those phones like my phone that has a speaker so you can listen to music even without earphones. *Not appropriate on public transportation, lady* I wanted to tell her, but I resisted.
I honestly couldn't believe how loud her music was and how she was oblivious to the fact that everyone could hear the song playing. Ooh, I do like that song though.... what is it again? Ooh, it's Keith and Kristyn Getty! I can't believe she has this song!
And then I got that awful feeling in the pit of my stomach. You know the one. I moved my arm that was covering my purse, and sure enough the song got louder. Wouldn't you know it, my iphone was playing its heart out-- and since my headphones weren't plugged in, the whole subway car got to listen along.
I honestly couldn't believe how loud her music was and how she was oblivious to the fact that everyone could hear the song playing. Ooh, I do like that song though.... what is it again? Ooh, it's Keith and Kristyn Getty! I can't believe she has this song!
And then I got that awful feeling in the pit of my stomach. You know the one. I moved my arm that was covering my purse, and sure enough the song got louder. Wouldn't you know it, my iphone was playing its heart out-- and since my headphones weren't plugged in, the whole subway car got to listen along.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
It's a good thing
Saturday morning I got on a train to Milford, Connecticut to spend the day with my best friend from college and her family. I was Maid of Honor in her wedding, but we've only seen each other twice since then-- and Trevor and Betsie just celebrated their fourth anniversary. Needless to say, we were long overdue for a catchup!
When the train pulled into the Milford station, all I could see from the window was a pair of feet on the platform. I knew right away they belonged to Betsie. I ran off the train and gave her a huge hug, and right away it felt like we'd just seen each other. You know how some friends you can not see forever but then pick up right where you left off? That's how it is with us, and this time was no exception.
On our way home from the train station, we stopped at the local deli to get stuff for lunch. Bets stayed in the car with Lily and Lucy while Trevor and I ran in. While we were waiting in line at the deli counter, Trevor said to me, "Thank you so much for making the trip up...." Are you kidding?? I'm just glad you guys were willing to let me invade your family vacation! "....Sarah [yes, her real name is Sarah and I've called her Betsie ever since our freshman year of college] has really missed you. I'm excited for the two of you to catch up and just to hear you giggle with each other again."
It's always somewhat bittersweet when my friends get married. Obviously it's exciting, but there's also always that selfish part of me that gets sad at the way our friendship is about to change. One thing that's been huge for me lately, though, is to see friends a few years into their marriages. I think one of my favorite things is seeing the way they have learned to look out for each other, to support each other in the little details of daily life, and to see the way they still look at each other with love that has been enriched by both blessings and trials. When Trevor told me he was looking forward to hearing us giggle (and boy! did we make sure he wasn't disappointed!), it made me happy because I knew the motivation behind the comment was not (just) his love for our laughter but really his love for his wife. So yes, the friendship changes. But maybe it's not all bad, after all.
I recently read Proverbs 31 (I'll blog more about that soon), and was struck by the verse "he who finds a wife finds a good thing." I thought of that verse a lot on Saturday as I watched Trevor and Betsie interact with each other and could see the way that he has been good for her and she for him-- and just the way they are so well-suited for each other. It was fun to revisit the scene four years later and see how true it is that Trevor has found a good thing.
Of course there's still that selfish part of me that's a little sad that my best friend has a new best friend; but it's kind of hard to complain when you see your best friend with two adorable girls on her lap and her husband smiling at her with even more love in his eyes than you saw four years earlier on their wedding day. This weekend was a good reminder that friendships change but they don't end. And of course it helps to know that Betsie's new best friend loves when her old best friend shows up for a weekend to catch up on life, to rehash memories, and-- of course-- to giggle.
When the train pulled into the Milford station, all I could see from the window was a pair of feet on the platform. I knew right away they belonged to Betsie. I ran off the train and gave her a huge hug, and right away it felt like we'd just seen each other. You know how some friends you can not see forever but then pick up right where you left off? That's how it is with us, and this time was no exception.
On our way home from the train station, we stopped at the local deli to get stuff for lunch. Bets stayed in the car with Lily and Lucy while Trevor and I ran in. While we were waiting in line at the deli counter, Trevor said to me, "Thank you so much for making the trip up...." Are you kidding?? I'm just glad you guys were willing to let me invade your family vacation! "....Sarah [yes, her real name is Sarah and I've called her Betsie ever since our freshman year of college] has really missed you. I'm excited for the two of you to catch up and just to hear you giggle with each other again."
It's always somewhat bittersweet when my friends get married. Obviously it's exciting, but there's also always that selfish part of me that gets sad at the way our friendship is about to change. One thing that's been huge for me lately, though, is to see friends a few years into their marriages. I think one of my favorite things is seeing the way they have learned to look out for each other, to support each other in the little details of daily life, and to see the way they still look at each other with love that has been enriched by both blessings and trials. When Trevor told me he was looking forward to hearing us giggle (and boy! did we make sure he wasn't disappointed!), it made me happy because I knew the motivation behind the comment was not (just) his love for our laughter but really his love for his wife. So yes, the friendship changes. But maybe it's not all bad, after all.
I recently read Proverbs 31 (I'll blog more about that soon), and was struck by the verse "he who finds a wife finds a good thing." I thought of that verse a lot on Saturday as I watched Trevor and Betsie interact with each other and could see the way that he has been good for her and she for him-- and just the way they are so well-suited for each other. It was fun to revisit the scene four years later and see how true it is that Trevor has found a good thing.
Of course there's still that selfish part of me that's a little sad that my best friend has a new best friend; but it's kind of hard to complain when you see your best friend with two adorable girls on her lap and her husband smiling at her with even more love in his eyes than you saw four years earlier on their wedding day. This weekend was a good reminder that friendships change but they don't end. And of course it helps to know that Betsie's new best friend loves when her old best friend shows up for a weekend to catch up on life, to rehash memories, and-- of course-- to giggle.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Praying for parking spaces
Almost immediately after I prayed that God would provide a parking space for me, I thought Don't be silly-- God isn't a gumball machine or a magic genie lamp.
I turned onto the next side street, and there was a spot.
I instantly felt rebuked. Why do I think that God doesn't care about the details of my life? And I was reminded of Paul Miller's A Praying Life and how his grandmother said about praying for parking spaces, "Well, how else am I going to find one?" It's true.... every good gift comes from above; and I guess that includes parking spaces.
But I heard a pastor talk about prayer this past Tuesday night, and he used the same illustration-- of praying for parking spaces-- as an example of wrong prayer. "If you don't get there in time," he said, "there isn't going to be a parking space. It has nothing to do with your prayer being effective or not. You're just praying selfishly."
Okay.... Sort of.... But that doesn't take into account the sovereignty of God. He can hold a parking space open for me for three weeks if he wants to; it doesn't depend on my timing. But more importantly, what struck me was that it doesn't take into account the love of God. I had been circling for about twenty minutes, and I was frustrated, tired, and just wanted to go home. God saw that, he knew that, and he cared about that. But even moreso, I think he knew how much the provision of that seemingly insignificant detail would encourage me in that moment to trust his provision of the larger details of my life.
God doesn't need to answer my prayers. But I'm learning that he delights to do so. Not for my glory, but for his. So maybe that's part of it.... I didn't get that parking spot because I needed a place to park my car; I got that parking spot because God knew it was the best way at that time to bring glory to himself.
I turned onto the next side street, and there was a spot.
I instantly felt rebuked. Why do I think that God doesn't care about the details of my life? And I was reminded of Paul Miller's A Praying Life and how his grandmother said about praying for parking spaces, "Well, how else am I going to find one?" It's true.... every good gift comes from above; and I guess that includes parking spaces.
But I heard a pastor talk about prayer this past Tuesday night, and he used the same illustration-- of praying for parking spaces-- as an example of wrong prayer. "If you don't get there in time," he said, "there isn't going to be a parking space. It has nothing to do with your prayer being effective or not. You're just praying selfishly."
Okay.... Sort of.... But that doesn't take into account the sovereignty of God. He can hold a parking space open for me for three weeks if he wants to; it doesn't depend on my timing. But more importantly, what struck me was that it doesn't take into account the love of God. I had been circling for about twenty minutes, and I was frustrated, tired, and just wanted to go home. God saw that, he knew that, and he cared about that. But even moreso, I think he knew how much the provision of that seemingly insignificant detail would encourage me in that moment to trust his provision of the larger details of my life.
God doesn't need to answer my prayers. But I'm learning that he delights to do so. Not for my glory, but for his. So maybe that's part of it.... I didn't get that parking spot because I needed a place to park my car; I got that parking spot because God knew it was the best way at that time to bring glory to himself.
Monday, August 9, 2010
So I can find my way
I went to a Hillsong concert this afternoon by accident. I mean, I'd meant to go to the concert-- but Gretchen and I thought it was at 6. So when we showed up for the 3pm church service at Brooklyn Tab planning to stay for the concert afterward, we were surprised to learn (by reading over the shoulder of the man in front of us) that the 3pm service was instead going to be an additional concert by Darlene Zschech and Hillsong.
At first we were really disappointed. I really wanted to go to a normal church service and hear a normal sermon-- not just go to a concert! But the "concert" was really an extended time of praise, and Darlene read passages from the Bible that spoke to me where I am needing encouragement.
One of the passages she read was from Psalm 43--
Give me your lantern and compass,
give me a map,
So I can find my way to the sacred mountain,
to the place of your presence,
To enter the place of worship,
meet my exuberant God,
Sing my thanks with a harp,
magnificent God, my God.
Yes Lord, I want your lantern and your compass. I want to find my way to the sacred mountain where you are. I want to enter the place of worship and meet you. I want to thank you for who you are and all you've done. You are magnificent. You are my God. Give me a map-- your map-- so I can find my way....
At first we were really disappointed. I really wanted to go to a normal church service and hear a normal sermon-- not just go to a concert! But the "concert" was really an extended time of praise, and Darlene read passages from the Bible that spoke to me where I am needing encouragement.
One of the passages she read was from Psalm 43--
Give me your lantern and compass,
give me a map,
So I can find my way to the sacred mountain,
to the place of your presence,
To enter the place of worship,
meet my exuberant God,
Sing my thanks with a harp,
magnificent God, my God.
Yes Lord, I want your lantern and your compass. I want to find my way to the sacred mountain where you are. I want to enter the place of worship and meet you. I want to thank you for who you are and all you've done. You are magnificent. You are my God. Give me a map-- your map-- so I can find my way....
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Roots and Wings
The one thing I learned from buying a house -- I told my brother the other night when he asked if I could see myself settling in New York -- is that I'll never be settled anywhere.
When Rachel was visiting me this weekend, she talked about having roots and wings--
I don't have roots anymore, Rach.
"Is it because your parents moved?"
I'm sure it is.... if they were still in Montville, that would be 'home.' But there's no house to go home to in Montville, and Maryland's not my home. I wanted Philly to be, but clearly that didn't work either....
I was talking to my 'rents on Friday night. Not knowing about either conversation with Steve or Rachel, my mom said, "Anne, did we take away your roots when we moved?"
Yes.
"Did we give you wings?"
Yes, but I'm not sure what to do with them.
I remember when I bought my house in Philly I told a friend that I was establishing myself in Philly, putting down roots there, and staying for the long haul. His response? "You're not permanent here. You'll meet a guy who asks you to move to another city or back to England, and you'll be gone." I'm sure he didn't mean it to do this, but that conversation made me start thinking about moving. If I can't put down roots here, I need to find a place to call home. I need to be near my family; that will give me some stability. And I moved to New York to be near my brothers. But I don't know if this is home either, or if it ever will be. I think often how "heaven is my home"; but it doesn't make it easier to feel homeless here.
I fought so hard when I was younger to be independent. I didn't care about my roots; I just wanted wings. I guess the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, because I finally got these wings, and now I don't want them.
I'd like to trade them back in for some roots, but I don't know how.
When Rachel was visiting me this weekend, she talked about having roots and wings--
I don't have roots anymore, Rach.
"Is it because your parents moved?"
I'm sure it is.... if they were still in Montville, that would be 'home.' But there's no house to go home to in Montville, and Maryland's not my home. I wanted Philly to be, but clearly that didn't work either....
I was talking to my 'rents on Friday night. Not knowing about either conversation with Steve or Rachel, my mom said, "Anne, did we take away your roots when we moved?"
Yes.
"Did we give you wings?"
Yes, but I'm not sure what to do with them.
I remember when I bought my house in Philly I told a friend that I was establishing myself in Philly, putting down roots there, and staying for the long haul. His response? "You're not permanent here. You'll meet a guy who asks you to move to another city or back to England, and you'll be gone." I'm sure he didn't mean it to do this, but that conversation made me start thinking about moving. If I can't put down roots here, I need to find a place to call home. I need to be near my family; that will give me some stability. And I moved to New York to be near my brothers. But I don't know if this is home either, or if it ever will be. I think often how "heaven is my home"; but it doesn't make it easier to feel homeless here.
I fought so hard when I was younger to be independent. I didn't care about my roots; I just wanted wings. I guess the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, because I finally got these wings, and now I don't want them.
I'd like to trade them back in for some roots, but I don't know how.
Friday, August 6, 2010
Who needs a comfort zone, anyway?
"Anne, I know what you should do the weekend of your birthday while I'm away," said Gretchen last Sunday evening.
Um.... okay? What?
"There's a young adults ministry at Brooklyn Tab, and they're having their annual retreat that weekend in upstate New York! You should go!"
I have friends coming into town, and I wouldn't want to go by myself....
"Well, if we can't go to the retreat, we should go to the weekly thing-- apparently they're meeting this Friday night."
But your schedule got changed.... you have to work on Fridays now! I don't want to go by myself....
"Ugh, I forgot! I'll see if Matt will switch with me or just work the last couple hours so I can come too."
(So I made a mental note that we were going to go to this Transitions group tonight. Together. But then last night....)
So is Matt covering for you?
"Um.... Well...."
Gretch! I don't want to go by myself!
"Oh come on, you'll be fine!"
It's soooo outside of my comfort zone.
"But you'll meet new people! You'll meet Christians our age that live in the city! You should go!"
It's scary to meet new people all by yourself!
"You'll be fine. And plus, you don't want to be that person that sits home by herself on a Friday night and doesn't have anyone to hang out with."
I never thought I'd hear anyone even suggest that was possible for me.
"I'll think about it."
And think about it I did. All day. I tried to come up with reasons for me not to go, but I also knew that I'd regret not going. And Gretchen was right-- I didn't want to sit at home by myself on a Friday night (ah, the difference of living in a city where you only know about five people). She's right... it'll be good for me to meet people. And worst case scenario, I can always leave. Somehow, having an escape plan always makes things better.
The gathering started at 7, but I definitely didn't want to be there on the early side. Hint: when going to a new place, never get there early. You will just sit around awkwardly and wish that you'd come twenty minutes later. So I left my apartment at 7 and took a leisurely fifteen minutes to walk to the church. Good plan-- if only they had started on time. But in reality, it started at 7:30-- so I still got plenty of "awkward time" in. Yay.
They were meeting in the Brooklyn Tab annex. 180 Livingston Street. Cool, I know where that street is. And the large "180" on the door made it nice and easy to find. I walked in confidently. So far, so good.
"Church?" said the man at the front desk.
I nodded.
"Next building."
Doh.
I walked into the next building behind another woman.
Sweet, she's headed to the same place as me. I don't even have to walk in by myself. Perfect.
"Second floor," said the greeting committee when we walked in.
She seemed pretty flustered about being late, so we didn't really talk as we hurried down the hallway and up the stairs. There was a long table with several volunteers behind it.
"Your name?" they asked the woman in front of me. She gave it to them, they marked a piece of paper, and she disappeared through the double doors.
"Your name?" they said to me.
Anne Davies. But I've never been here before...
"You mean you didn't sign up?"
No, this is my first time.
"Oh... you need to register." And the woman handed me a piece of paper with rather lengthy questionnaire on it.
Um, is this Transitions?
"Transitions?? No, this is Spiritual Formation class! Transitions meets in the basement."
So much for my "off to a good start." And I headed downstairs.
Okay, just find a girl to talk to and you'll be fine. You can do this-- you can make small talk with anyone. You're just being a whimp. You'll be fine. Lord, give me strength.....
And I walked through the doors into the meeting room.
There were lots of girls there-- all deeply engaged in conversation with each other. All the people sitting by themselves looking as awkward as I felt were guys. I am not just going to go sit down next to a guy and make small talk for the next ten minutes.
So I sat by myself and tried not to let on that I felt as awkward as all the other solo-sitters felt. I'm not sure I did such a great job. A few people came up and introduced themselves-- but none of the conversations really went beyond exchanging our names.
So this is what it felt like for people who were new to citycollege&career. I'm sorry I ever got frustrated about greeting new people every week and engaging them in conversation. And then I thought-- It's good to be the new person again, if for no other reason than to remember how important it is to be welcoming when you're not the newbie anymore. Note to self!
After about ten minutes, the projection screen at the front showed a countdown. Only five more minutes of this! I'm gonna make it! Four minutes.... Three minutes.... A girl sat down a couple seats over from me. Do I bother introducing myself? Two minutes.....
Hi, my name's Anne.
"Oh hi! I'm Nicole."
Is this your first time here?
"No. Is it yours?"
Yeah, I just heard about it.
"Do you live in Brooklyn?"
Yep, I live about a ten minute walk from here. How 'bout you?
"I'm from Staten Island. It takes me about an hour and a half to get here."
Suddenly the countdown was over, the music was playing, and I knew someone's name. It really is going to be okay. The gathering was like a laid-back church service. We sang worship songs, saw a video about the retreat, played an ice-breaker (I didn't meet anyone else who has an August 29th birthday), and saw a video about a missions trip they'd just done to the Philippines. After about an hour, Todd (the Transitions pastor) got up and gave a talk on Christian community.
He talked about our need for Christian community-- how we all have a need to know people and be known by people and accepted by them. He talked about cliques and how they aren't necessarily bad in and of themselves but need to be managed and reflective of Jesus' heart to include everyone. "I often sit on the subway," he said, "and think what it would be like to literally have Christ's eyes for these people around me-- to see them not as a business man, or a homeless woman, or a bratty kid; but to see each one as a human being who needs to know Christ." He continued to challenge us: "Why are we scared to leave our comfort zone? Are we afraid of people who are different from us? Why don't we realize that we need people who are different from us to complement us?"
I thought about my comfort zone. I thought about why I didn't want to go to the meeting tonight because it would mean being uncomfortable for a bit. But then I also realized how one of the coolest feelings was sitting in that room knowing that I didn't know a single person, but that we were all there because we love the same God. And the things that make us different-- our interests, our backgrounds, our personalities, the list goes on-- are the things that can make our friendships so amazing, because we are all united on the most important thing: Christ.
So when you look at it like that, who needs a comfort zone, anyway?
(P.S. after it was all over, I got to chat a bit more with Nicole; and we met another girl named Bree who was awesome. Hopefully I'll see them again when I go back in a couple weeks!)
Um.... okay? What?
"There's a young adults ministry at Brooklyn Tab, and they're having their annual retreat that weekend in upstate New York! You should go!"
I have friends coming into town, and I wouldn't want to go by myself....
"Well, if we can't go to the retreat, we should go to the weekly thing-- apparently they're meeting this Friday night."
But your schedule got changed.... you have to work on Fridays now! I don't want to go by myself....
"Ugh, I forgot! I'll see if Matt will switch with me or just work the last couple hours so I can come too."
(So I made a mental note that we were going to go to this Transitions group tonight. Together. But then last night....)
So is Matt covering for you?
"Um.... Well...."
Gretch! I don't want to go by myself!
"Oh come on, you'll be fine!"
It's soooo outside of my comfort zone.
"But you'll meet new people! You'll meet Christians our age that live in the city! You should go!"
It's scary to meet new people all by yourself!
"You'll be fine. And plus, you don't want to be that person that sits home by herself on a Friday night and doesn't have anyone to hang out with."
I never thought I'd hear anyone even suggest that was possible for me.
"I'll think about it."
And think about it I did. All day. I tried to come up with reasons for me not to go, but I also knew that I'd regret not going. And Gretchen was right-- I didn't want to sit at home by myself on a Friday night (ah, the difference of living in a city where you only know about five people). She's right... it'll be good for me to meet people. And worst case scenario, I can always leave. Somehow, having an escape plan always makes things better.
The gathering started at 7, but I definitely didn't want to be there on the early side. Hint: when going to a new place, never get there early. You will just sit around awkwardly and wish that you'd come twenty minutes later. So I left my apartment at 7 and took a leisurely fifteen minutes to walk to the church. Good plan-- if only they had started on time. But in reality, it started at 7:30-- so I still got plenty of "awkward time" in. Yay.
They were meeting in the Brooklyn Tab annex. 180 Livingston Street. Cool, I know where that street is. And the large "180" on the door made it nice and easy to find. I walked in confidently. So far, so good.
"Church?" said the man at the front desk.
I nodded.
"Next building."
Doh.
I walked into the next building behind another woman.
Sweet, she's headed to the same place as me. I don't even have to walk in by myself. Perfect.
"Second floor," said the greeting committee when we walked in.
She seemed pretty flustered about being late, so we didn't really talk as we hurried down the hallway and up the stairs. There was a long table with several volunteers behind it.
"Your name?" they asked the woman in front of me. She gave it to them, they marked a piece of paper, and she disappeared through the double doors.
"Your name?" they said to me.
Anne Davies. But I've never been here before...
"You mean you didn't sign up?"
No, this is my first time.
"Oh... you need to register." And the woman handed me a piece of paper with rather lengthy questionnaire on it.
Um, is this Transitions?
"Transitions?? No, this is Spiritual Formation class! Transitions meets in the basement."
So much for my "off to a good start." And I headed downstairs.
Okay, just find a girl to talk to and you'll be fine. You can do this-- you can make small talk with anyone. You're just being a whimp. You'll be fine. Lord, give me strength.....
And I walked through the doors into the meeting room.
There were lots of girls there-- all deeply engaged in conversation with each other. All the people sitting by themselves looking as awkward as I felt were guys. I am not just going to go sit down next to a guy and make small talk for the next ten minutes.
So I sat by myself and tried not to let on that I felt as awkward as all the other solo-sitters felt. I'm not sure I did such a great job. A few people came up and introduced themselves-- but none of the conversations really went beyond exchanging our names.
So this is what it felt like for people who were new to citycollege&career. I'm sorry I ever got frustrated about greeting new people every week and engaging them in conversation. And then I thought-- It's good to be the new person again, if for no other reason than to remember how important it is to be welcoming when you're not the newbie anymore. Note to self!
After about ten minutes, the projection screen at the front showed a countdown. Only five more minutes of this! I'm gonna make it! Four minutes.... Three minutes.... A girl sat down a couple seats over from me. Do I bother introducing myself? Two minutes.....
Hi, my name's Anne.
"Oh hi! I'm Nicole."
Is this your first time here?
"No. Is it yours?"
Yeah, I just heard about it.
"Do you live in Brooklyn?"
Yep, I live about a ten minute walk from here. How 'bout you?
"I'm from Staten Island. It takes me about an hour and a half to get here."
Suddenly the countdown was over, the music was playing, and I knew someone's name. It really is going to be okay. The gathering was like a laid-back church service. We sang worship songs, saw a video about the retreat, played an ice-breaker (I didn't meet anyone else who has an August 29th birthday), and saw a video about a missions trip they'd just done to the Philippines. After about an hour, Todd (the Transitions pastor) got up and gave a talk on Christian community.
He talked about our need for Christian community-- how we all have a need to know people and be known by people and accepted by them. He talked about cliques and how they aren't necessarily bad in and of themselves but need to be managed and reflective of Jesus' heart to include everyone. "I often sit on the subway," he said, "and think what it would be like to literally have Christ's eyes for these people around me-- to see them not as a business man, or a homeless woman, or a bratty kid; but to see each one as a human being who needs to know Christ." He continued to challenge us: "Why are we scared to leave our comfort zone? Are we afraid of people who are different from us? Why don't we realize that we need people who are different from us to complement us?"
I thought about my comfort zone. I thought about why I didn't want to go to the meeting tonight because it would mean being uncomfortable for a bit. But then I also realized how one of the coolest feelings was sitting in that room knowing that I didn't know a single person, but that we were all there because we love the same God. And the things that make us different-- our interests, our backgrounds, our personalities, the list goes on-- are the things that can make our friendships so amazing, because we are all united on the most important thing: Christ.
So when you look at it like that, who needs a comfort zone, anyway?
(P.S. after it was all over, I got to chat a bit more with Nicole; and we met another girl named Bree who was awesome. Hopefully I'll see them again when I go back in a couple weeks!)
Thursday, August 5, 2010
A new career option?
An old man walked into Alice's today while I was hosting--
Hi! How are you?
"I'm.... okay."
Just okay?
"Yes."
Well, maybe you'll feel better after you have a scone or a cookie?
"Are they magical?"
Of course! We put fairy dust in all of them, so all your wishes will come true!
"I used to come here all the time, but I haven't been here in a while."
Well, welcome back! Would you like a table or something to go?
"A table would be nice."
Okay, how 'bout this one here? (and I sat him at a table for two, removing the extra place setting as he sat down).
"Yes, but I'll need five more chairs-- I have invisible friends."
Ah, well, would they like plastic settings? Or will they be okay with the china?
"Just chairs; I think they won't need plates."
(He sat down, but kept on talking...)
"It's been a while since I've been here," and he lowered his voice with a mischievous twinkle in his eye. "I just got out of jail, ya know."
Oh, congratulations! And you chose Alice's for your first real meal? Enjoy it!!
He called me over a few minutes later.
"You should do stand up."
Excuse me?
"You should be a stand-up comedian. You're really quick on your feet."
Ooh.... I wonder if that pays more than hosting??
Hi! How are you?
"I'm.... okay."
Just okay?
"Yes."
Well, maybe you'll feel better after you have a scone or a cookie?
"Are they magical?"
Of course! We put fairy dust in all of them, so all your wishes will come true!
"I used to come here all the time, but I haven't been here in a while."
Well, welcome back! Would you like a table or something to go?
"A table would be nice."
Okay, how 'bout this one here? (and I sat him at a table for two, removing the extra place setting as he sat down).
"Yes, but I'll need five more chairs-- I have invisible friends."
Ah, well, would they like plastic settings? Or will they be okay with the china?
"Just chairs; I think they won't need plates."
(He sat down, but kept on talking...)
"It's been a while since I've been here," and he lowered his voice with a mischievous twinkle in his eye. "I just got out of jail, ya know."
Oh, congratulations! And you chose Alice's for your first real meal? Enjoy it!!
He called me over a few minutes later.
"You should do stand up."
Excuse me?
"You should be a stand-up comedian. You're really quick on your feet."
Ooh.... I wonder if that pays more than hosting??
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
"I love this day!"
Gretchen and I went to the gym this morning. To fully appreciate the experience, you have to know that if there are 50 people at our gym, only 5 of them will be female. If 5 of them are female, only 2 of them will be white. And yes, those two white women will be Gretchen and me. Oh, and the entertainment we provide!
Today was no exception. While using the tricep machine, I remarked to Gretchen that I was feeling it in my biceps-- not my triceps like I should. She came over to see what I was doing wrong--
"Hold it on the inside, not the outside."
Like this?
"Yeah, that's better. Ooh, I can see your muscles!"
Are they huge? --I laughed. Ah, but suddenly someone else was laughing too-- a fellow gym user had stopped to watch our antics. I thought at first he was laughing at the suggestion that my muscles were huge, but it was really just that he was entertained at my attempt (and failure) to use that machine. I guess that's a better reason to be laughed at??
"Your hand is in the wrong place," he said and showed me how to fix it.
Ah, thank you!
He chuckled to himself and went back to his workout. Gretchen just laughed at me.
We moved to the next machine, which was easier to figure out and I "felt the burn" in the appropriate muscles. Gnarls Barkley was playing loud and clear over the gym radio. All the sudden--
"Does that make me crazy?
Does that make me crazy?...."
a man belted out from the other end of the room. He was tone-deaf and loud and didn't care a bit. He was singing his heart out anyway!
"I love this day!" exclaimed Gretchen, and we both laughed.
I was at work a few hours later and got a text from Gretchen telling me that Teddy (a guy that works at Alice's but is touring with a Shakespeare theatre company for the summer) had a show tonight in north Jersey-- did I want to go?
Obviously!
So I raced home after work, met Gretchen at my car, and we sped over to the Northern Kingdom (well, "sped" as much as one can when it takes twenty minutes to get through the Holland Tunnel; but we did our best and still made it there on time!). Teddy had invited us to come to a production early in the summer, and we were excited that it finally worked out for us to go to one of his shows! They tour around north Jersey all summer, but usually the productions are on days that we both have to work. We were pretty excited that this one fell on a Monday for a change.
"So I should warn you..." started Gretchen once we were in the car....
This never ends well....
"This production is at a Unitarian church...."
Um.... and this is a big deal because?
".....and, well, it's sponsored by a group called GAAMC-- the Gay Activist Alliance of Morris County-- so this could be.... interesting."
And interesting it was. Two very nice men greeted us as soon as we walked in the door. They handed Gretchen a thick-ish folded paper and asked me if I wanted one too or if I wanted to share with Gretchen. Thinking it was a program for the play, I said I'd like my own copy. It was definitely a newsletter for their organization. Oops.
A woman then walked up to us and started to show us around the building and give us a brief history of GAAMC.
"Do you sing?" she asked.
"Yeah, we both do actually," said Gretchen.
"Oh, then give us a call at Christmas-- you can join our coventry carols ensemble!"
I think she noticed that we were uncomfortable because she quickly added, "You don't have to be gay to participate-- if you're searching or just curious about our organization just come out and sing with us!"
I awkwardly excused myself to find a bathroom before the play began. It was all we could do to get to the top of the stairs before we burst out laughing.
That... was.... so.... awkward!! -- I said to Gretchen between laughs.
"I'm going to drop comments about my boyfriend when we go back down there. That's it-- tonight we sign up on match.com! That was the final straw!"
We stayed for the play without any further awkward interactions. Teddy was thrilled to see us; he couldn't get over that we'd made the trek "all the way to Jersey" to see him perform. I didn't tell him that I'm always up for any excuse to visit the Promised Land. ;)
As we drove home, we could see the moon hanging low and clear just over the New York City skyline. I don't know that there are many sights that can compare with this.
Gretchen-- I said-- you were right. I love this day, too!
Today was no exception. While using the tricep machine, I remarked to Gretchen that I was feeling it in my biceps-- not my triceps like I should. She came over to see what I was doing wrong--
"Hold it on the inside, not the outside."
Like this?
"Yeah, that's better. Ooh, I can see your muscles!"
Are they huge? --I laughed. Ah, but suddenly someone else was laughing too-- a fellow gym user had stopped to watch our antics. I thought at first he was laughing at the suggestion that my muscles were huge, but it was really just that he was entertained at my attempt (and failure) to use that machine. I guess that's a better reason to be laughed at??
"Your hand is in the wrong place," he said and showed me how to fix it.
Ah, thank you!
He chuckled to himself and went back to his workout. Gretchen just laughed at me.
We moved to the next machine, which was easier to figure out and I "felt the burn" in the appropriate muscles. Gnarls Barkley was playing loud and clear over the gym radio. All the sudden--
"Does that make me crazy?
Does that make me crazy?...."
a man belted out from the other end of the room. He was tone-deaf and loud and didn't care a bit. He was singing his heart out anyway!
"I love this day!" exclaimed Gretchen, and we both laughed.
I was at work a few hours later and got a text from Gretchen telling me that Teddy (a guy that works at Alice's but is touring with a Shakespeare theatre company for the summer) had a show tonight in north Jersey-- did I want to go?
Obviously!
So I raced home after work, met Gretchen at my car, and we sped over to the Northern Kingdom (well, "sped" as much as one can when it takes twenty minutes to get through the Holland Tunnel; but we did our best and still made it there on time!). Teddy had invited us to come to a production early in the summer, and we were excited that it finally worked out for us to go to one of his shows! They tour around north Jersey all summer, but usually the productions are on days that we both have to work. We were pretty excited that this one fell on a Monday for a change.
"So I should warn you..." started Gretchen once we were in the car....
This never ends well....
"This production is at a Unitarian church...."
Um.... and this is a big deal because?
".....and, well, it's sponsored by a group called GAAMC-- the Gay Activist Alliance of Morris County-- so this could be.... interesting."
And interesting it was. Two very nice men greeted us as soon as we walked in the door. They handed Gretchen a thick-ish folded paper and asked me if I wanted one too or if I wanted to share with Gretchen. Thinking it was a program for the play, I said I'd like my own copy. It was definitely a newsletter for their organization. Oops.
A woman then walked up to us and started to show us around the building and give us a brief history of GAAMC.
"Do you sing?" she asked.
"Yeah, we both do actually," said Gretchen.
"Oh, then give us a call at Christmas-- you can join our coventry carols ensemble!"
I think she noticed that we were uncomfortable because she quickly added, "You don't have to be gay to participate-- if you're searching or just curious about our organization just come out and sing with us!"
I awkwardly excused myself to find a bathroom before the play began. It was all we could do to get to the top of the stairs before we burst out laughing.
That... was.... so.... awkward!! -- I said to Gretchen between laughs.
"I'm going to drop comments about my boyfriend when we go back down there. That's it-- tonight we sign up on match.com! That was the final straw!"
We stayed for the play without any further awkward interactions. Teddy was thrilled to see us; he couldn't get over that we'd made the trek "all the way to Jersey" to see him perform. I didn't tell him that I'm always up for any excuse to visit the Promised Land. ;)
As we drove home, we could see the moon hanging low and clear just over the New York City skyline. I don't know that there are many sights that can compare with this.
Gretchen-- I said-- you were right. I love this day, too!
Sunday, August 1, 2010
For the love of Brooklyn
I moved to Brooklyn by accident, really. Gretchen lived here in a 3-bedroom apartment, and one of her roommates was moving out at the same time I was thinking of moving up to New York. True, it was in Brooklyn instead of Manhattan, but that's not a good reason to turn down the chance to live with one of your best friends. Plus, it's just on the other side of the Brooklyn Bridge, so it's almost like living in Manhattan I reasoned.
This was all good in theory, but in reality there are things like train delays. The first time I had to work on a weekend at Alice's, my twenty minute commute took me over an hour. I was not impressed. Steve and Ellen both live in Manhattan, and I work there too-- it felt like my whole life was in Manhattan, and I had to keep making the trek back to Brooklyn because that's where I sleep.
I bonded with Ryan, one of my co-workers at Alice's, over our disdain for Brooklyn--
"I don't understand the appeal," he said one day.
Me neither! Everyone says the rent is cheaper, but I don't believe it...
"That's just bogus.... my girlfriend and I pay the same per-person for our 2-bedroom as you do for your 3-bedroom. And we live on the Upper East Side."
People like the pace of it-- they like living 'in the city' but not having it be as hectic. I don't feel like it's any different from the Upper East Side.
"Cuz it's not. It's just harder to get everywhere and you have to deal with hipsters. Stupid, stupid hipsters" (and then he went off about hipsters and how they wear stupid tiny shoes; but that's a story for another time).
This past Friday on our way to the beach, we made a quick stop at Trader Joe's (a block and a half from my apartment) to get supplies for our adventure.
"You're really lucky," Ellen said. "Your Trader Joe's isn't crazy like the one in Manhattan!" It's true-- if you've ever been to the TJ in Union Square, the line literally starts when you walk in the door and wraps around the whole store. But I can stop at our Trader Joe's on my way home from work and be in and out in less than ten minutes. Once we had our picnic supplies, I asked if we could make one other stop before hitting the road for the beach: the best iced coffee I've ever had in my life; and it's two blocks away from my apartment.
This is worth making the trek to Brooklyn for-- I told my brother.
I was walking to the subway with a friend from work the other night, and I told her she has to come spend a day in Brooklyn--
There's so much to do there, and our neighborhood is just great. You really need to come see it-- I heard myself say. What did you just say?! What are these words that are coming out of your mouth?! Have I started to like Brooklyn?!
Gretchen and I attempted to go to church this morning with Steve, Ellen, and Brandon (who was visiting Steve from NJ for the weekend) up on the Upper East Side. I'd heard about Apostles NYC and have been wanting to visit for a while. When we got to the train, we found out it was running local instead of express, which meant we'd get there about five minutes late. Annoying, but whatever; Steve can save us seats and it'll be fine. And then we got to the Brooklyn Bridge/City Hall stop and heard the ominous announcement, "Ladies and Gentlemen, there has been a train brake emergency at 14th Street; all 4 and 6 trains will be delayed." And delayed we were. After fifteen minutes of hearing that announcement repeated, we decided to try the bus route. Forty-five minutes later we showed up at Apostles NYC, just in time for the last two songs and the benediction.
A month ago I think this episode would have launched me into a pontification about the evils of living in Brooklyn and why I wanted to live in Manhattan where you're closer to everything. But for some reason it didn't phase me-- I actually found the whole thing amusing. As I walked home from the subway tonight, it felt good to be back in my neighborhood. I noted how different Brooklyn feels from Manhattan. And then I noted that I actually like the feel of Brooklyn. In fact, I might even be starting to love it.
Hmm.... I might need to find something else to bond with Ryan over....
This was all good in theory, but in reality there are things like train delays. The first time I had to work on a weekend at Alice's, my twenty minute commute took me over an hour. I was not impressed. Steve and Ellen both live in Manhattan, and I work there too-- it felt like my whole life was in Manhattan, and I had to keep making the trek back to Brooklyn because that's where I sleep.
I bonded with Ryan, one of my co-workers at Alice's, over our disdain for Brooklyn--
"I don't understand the appeal," he said one day.
Me neither! Everyone says the rent is cheaper, but I don't believe it...
"That's just bogus.... my girlfriend and I pay the same per-person for our 2-bedroom as you do for your 3-bedroom. And we live on the Upper East Side."
People like the pace of it-- they like living 'in the city' but not having it be as hectic. I don't feel like it's any different from the Upper East Side.
"Cuz it's not. It's just harder to get everywhere and you have to deal with hipsters. Stupid, stupid hipsters" (and then he went off about hipsters and how they wear stupid tiny shoes; but that's a story for another time).
This past Friday on our way to the beach, we made a quick stop at Trader Joe's (a block and a half from my apartment) to get supplies for our adventure.
"You're really lucky," Ellen said. "Your Trader Joe's isn't crazy like the one in Manhattan!" It's true-- if you've ever been to the TJ in Union Square, the line literally starts when you walk in the door and wraps around the whole store. But I can stop at our Trader Joe's on my way home from work and be in and out in less than ten minutes. Once we had our picnic supplies, I asked if we could make one other stop before hitting the road for the beach: the best iced coffee I've ever had in my life; and it's two blocks away from my apartment.
This is worth making the trek to Brooklyn for-- I told my brother.
I was walking to the subway with a friend from work the other night, and I told her she has to come spend a day in Brooklyn--
There's so much to do there, and our neighborhood is just great. You really need to come see it-- I heard myself say. What did you just say?! What are these words that are coming out of your mouth?! Have I started to like Brooklyn?!
Gretchen and I attempted to go to church this morning with Steve, Ellen, and Brandon (who was visiting Steve from NJ for the weekend) up on the Upper East Side. I'd heard about Apostles NYC and have been wanting to visit for a while. When we got to the train, we found out it was running local instead of express, which meant we'd get there about five minutes late. Annoying, but whatever; Steve can save us seats and it'll be fine. And then we got to the Brooklyn Bridge/City Hall stop and heard the ominous announcement, "Ladies and Gentlemen, there has been a train brake emergency at 14th Street; all 4 and 6 trains will be delayed." And delayed we were. After fifteen minutes of hearing that announcement repeated, we decided to try the bus route. Forty-five minutes later we showed up at Apostles NYC, just in time for the last two songs and the benediction.
A month ago I think this episode would have launched me into a pontification about the evils of living in Brooklyn and why I wanted to live in Manhattan where you're closer to everything. But for some reason it didn't phase me-- I actually found the whole thing amusing. As I walked home from the subway tonight, it felt good to be back in my neighborhood. I noted how different Brooklyn feels from Manhattan. And then I noted that I actually like the feel of Brooklyn. In fact, I might even be starting to love it.
Hmm.... I might need to find something else to bond with Ryan over....
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