I don't know that I've ever woken up in the morning and thought Man, I wish I had to work today.
So I guess there really is a first time for everything. Because that's definitely what I thought this morning. Gretchen's showing an out-of-town friend around Brooklyn; Steve, Ellen, and Tim are all working; and I.... well, I'm sitting in my room thinking about stuff I don't want to think about.
I was fine on Wednesday and yesterday, surrounded by friends and family and distracted by work and sharing memories. I guess it has to hit sometime; I guess you can't just go straight to "okay" after someone you love dies-- he's not in pain anymore. But I still miss him. I got to say goodbye. But I have a story I forgot to tell him.
I'm still deeply thankful. But I guess I'm more deeply sad than I want to be.
Maybe I'll clean my room.
Hi Anne-
ReplyDeleteGrief is very painful. Sometimes it hurts so bad that it is difficult to imagine that anything could possible hurt any worse. I am praying that God will minister His healing balm to your soul. As deep as the pain is that you are feeling - equally deep will be the joy when it comes....
I hope you are having a better day today.
~Ruth