So, where are you going to church, anyway?

"Oh, you're moving to New York? Will you work at Redeemer?"

No....

"Oh, but you'll go there, right?"

No.....

"But then.... what church are you going to go to for the summer?"

I'm not.....

There's no way not to explain this, especially since I think it's proving to be an important part of this Pumpkin Patch experience. But even as I try, I can't help but remember how I always used to disagree with other people who would "church hop," and part of me wonders why I now feel that this is what I should be doing during this season of my life. But here goes, the logic behind this decision....

Somewhere over the past several years I lost the point of church. I mean, I went to worship and to learn more about God through the sermon and to fellowship with other Christians-- you know, all the reasons you're supposed to go. And I think that I genuinely was striving after those things. But somehow eventually church became another thing on my task list and a time to connect to others socially-- to see friends or meet new people. Somewhere along the way, it stopped being a time to meet with God.

Several months and a burnout later, I'm trying to figure out what "recovery" needs to look like. My initial Plan of Action was to find a church and get plugged in-- find a way to serve, find a small group, meet new people. And then the Voice of Reason (or several of them really, and they sounded suspiciously like my closest friends) said, "NO!!!! You need a BREAK."

The more I thought about this and what it would mean for me to "take a break," the more convinced I became that this needed to be closely linked to recovering the real purpose of church. I fully believe that a key part of church is relationships and community; but I also believe that these are secondary (a close second, but still not equal) to one's relationship to Christ.

For the past six or seven months, God has been showing me in various ways how many answers I don't have. (Side note: this has been incredibly challenging, difficult, and humbling.) But this whole church-thing is part of that. I grew up in church; my dad worked for churches for most of my life; I've been on a church staff myself-- surely I should "get" what church is all about. But I don't. Not at all, actually. And so I am going Back to Basics.

"Ok, ok, this is all fine and good; but can't you just pick a church in NYC and go there?"

No. I know myself too well. I can't go to the same church and not meet people, not schedule coffee dates and hangouts, not join a small group, and not offer to help with stuff. Where I am right now, I would too easily slip back into letting church be a social thing.

Right now, church needs to be about worshiping God. Only about worshiping God.

So for this summer, that's going to mean visiting various churches. I want to worship God with Christians of all different denominations, who sing different sorts of songs and hymns and use different instruments or no instruments at all, who dress up or dress down or look like me or don't look like me. I want to be reminded that the only thing that matters is the One who we're worshiping, and to enjoy being surrounded by other Christians who are worshiping him, too-- whether their style is different than what I'm used to or not.

Tonight I went to a church that had a fog machine and a full worship band-- slightly different from worship at Tenth. But you know what? They loved God-- they worshiped him, and they helped me to worship him. Those people clearly know that God loves them, and they reminded me that he loves me. I spent the hour and a half with strangers, but we were all there for the same purpose.

And that's a pretty awesome thing.