I'd like to open a checking account, please.
Yes, I live here in Brooklyn.
No, sorry, I won't be able to maintain a $2500 minimum balance each month.
No, I haven't gotten any mail at my new address yet.
No, I won't be getting utilities in my name.
Yes, I know you have a branch in Philadelphia.
No, I don't want to go back to Philly to open my account so I can use this branch in Brooklyn.
There's this street a little less than a mile from my apartment that is lined with banks on both sides. Good thing! I started at one end and worked my way down until I found a bank that would give me free checking without having to ask my roommates to put one of the utilities in my name so I could prove that I live here. They used the Philly address on my driver's license as my permanent address and put my Brooklyn one as my mailing address. I figured that it wasn't worth it at that point to explain that I'd never actually changed my Philly address when I bought my house last summer, so even the one on there wasn't actually right.....
One of these days I fully intend to consolidate all of my identities and have just one address....
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