Friday, June 11, 2010

Words can never hurt me: the myth

"The reason you and Jenna* don't see eye-to-eye is that you just don't understand people like her and like me," explained one of my college roommates. "You're not beautiful and charming like we are."

She wasn't being mean, which probably made it worse. She really meant it, and it was her way of explaining the ways of the world to me. Seven years later I'm still haunted by that "insight" into the world. I saw Jenna recently, and those feelings of inferiority rushed over me just like we were back in college.

I'm not beautiful and charming like she is, plays the all-too-familiar refrain in my mind.

Remember those days when you were little and you came home from school crying because someone said something mean to you? What did your mom tell you? "Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me." Yeah, ok. On what planet? is what I would like to know.

I'd like to propose that we change that little ditty. What about "Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will hurt me longer"? Because really, isn't that way more accurate?

*names have been changed to protect the innocent (or to protect me, depending how you look at it). ;)

2 comments:

  1. Ouch! I agree words do hurt deeper and much longer. And you are beautiful, by the way. Don't let anyone tell you differently!

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  2. Wow! This took my breath away.

    I've too had horribly mean words thrown at my physical appearance~ yet in junior high. To think she was in college... Who do some people think that they are? I just never understand when throw around such mean words. Do they not understand that anything can be taken away in this word? Beautiful and charming can disappear in the 4 seconds it takes you to pull out of your driveway. But other than that what I mostly do not understand is can they not themselves feel the pain that such words would bring.

    This especially hits me hard because of my two daughters.

    ~LR

    PS. You are one of the most charming ladies I have ever met and a beautiful blonde to boot.

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