Confessions of a Workaholic

I don't know if people even read this blog anymore-- it's been so long since my last post. But the post has been building in my soul, and blogging it is the only way to get it out. So here goes...

Apparently others have known this about me for a while, but I'm just learning that I'm a workaholic. I don't know yet if I'm a workaholic in the negative or the positive sense of the word, but the truth is still there: I don't know how to stop working. I call it many other things-- diligent, thorough, dedicated-- but now I'm calling it something else-- exhausting.

Things are going really well at my job. Since October I've been full-time with the mentoring program, and I feel as though I'm finally living out my calling. I get to work with at-risk kids for my full-time job, and I get paid to do it! Ah, but herein lies the problem as well-- I love my job, so it's hard for me to stop doing it. I have a team of people that I work with now, and my staff has taken it on their shoulders to care for my mental and physical health.

"When's the last time you took a day off?" they'll ask me.
Well, I took Tuesday morning off....
"No, you weren't in the office; but didn't you have a meeting?"
Oh, right..... I went to Portland last week....
"But you were on email with us the whole time..."
Busted.

I had coffee with one of my co-workers last week, and when he addressed this same issue, I 'fessed up: Josh-- I told him-- I don't even know how to take a day off. I don't know what to do to relax. To me, the idea of taking a break from working on something means working on something else. It's not that I don't want to relax; it's that I don't know how to.... and it's getting exhausting.

And thus began a team-wide effort to help me learn how to relax.

And so, with their guidance (and some strict rules put in place) I took today off. My phone is off; I'm not checking my email. I'm going to a yoga class at my gym in a couple hours. I'm finally blogging (as you know, I haven't taken time to do that in ages). I'm sitting on the couch with a cup of coffee and my Bible and journal. I have a magazine to read later. I'm not even going to glance at my email because I know there will be something there that will get my mind going and I'll feel the need to address immediately. I know it means tomorrow will be a full day and maybe I'll regret that I didn't look at email today. But for today, I'm taking one baby-step toward learning what it means to relax.

My name is Anne Davies, and apparently I'm a workaholic. But I really don't want to be....