Revisting Padre Plaza

If you've spoken with me in the past three or four months, you know that my job working with inner city kids has been up in the air for a while now. Not that I'm worried about losing my job... I'm just at a loss to know what it will look like six months from now. Will I move to the South Bronx? Will I keep working two part-time jobs like I am now? I have no idea!!!!

If you know me you also know that I don't do well being in limbo. Read: I might be the most impatient person in the world. So not knowing what next year looks like is "challenging" for me in my best moments; terrifying and maddening in my worse moments. I've wondered if it's worth all the uncertainty and the fight to make things happen. I've toyed with walking away altogether. I've started looking for other jobs. I've had conversations about moving to other cities.

Today I went back to the South Bronx, back to the park where we did our week-long outreach back in March. Only this time, Josh and I took my boss and his boss with me so they could see what we've been seeing. As soon as I stepped into Padre Plaza, it was like I was breathing different air. Mike welcomed me back with a huge hug and jokingly reprimanded me for being too much of a stranger. Within minutes a young boy arrived at the park. Jorel spent the next 45 minutes entertaining us with stories, asking us questions, and hearing all about camp. After talking to Mike and walking the neighborhood for a bit, our little group went to the Dominican restaurant next to Padre Plaza where we'd eaten several meals during our week-long camp. Fior, the woman behind the counter, was helping customers when I walked in.

She didn't notice me right away, but all the sudden she exclaimed "You're back!! Are you here? Are you all here again?!"

No-- I explained-- we're just visiting. I came to show these guys the neighborhood.

"Oh," she said, clearly disappointed, "but when are you coming back?"

I don't know; we're trying to figure it out... Maybe in the fall?

"What about this summer? Can't you come back now?"

I know, I'm sorry. We're trying to figure it out...

On our way back to the subway, Josh and I spotted Justin and Jaylene walking with their mom down the street and we waved. Justin recognized us almost instantly, and his face lit up. "Are you back?! Is there camp??" he said with a big grin on his face.

No, we just came back to say hi-- Josh and I tried to explain.

"But when is camp gonna be?"

I don't know-- I said-- maybe in the fall? We're trying to figure it out....

"In the fall?? But that's so far away!!"

He's right. It is so far away. I want to go back now. No, it's more than that; I wish we'd never left after that week. But I'm really glad we got to see Mike and Fior and Justin; I'm really thankful for the reminder of what happened when Mont Lawn Camp came to the city this March. I thought I was going back to try to show other people the great things God wants to do in the South Bronx; but I think really God used our little fieldtrip to remind me of the great things he has been doing all along.

It's kids like Jorel and Justin and Jaylene that make me want to go back there-- that make it worth it to fight to go back there. There are so many kids there waiting to love and be loved, to hear about God's love for them and to learn to love them.

So what's the problem, right? Why aren't we just going back up there? Money. Timing. Staffing. Details, details, details. Please pray for us. Pray that God provides the money we need, makes our way clear, and helps me to be patient as we figure it all out. Pray that he'll continue to grow a burden in me for those kids. Pray that he provides for our team-- the resources, the right people, the housing, the programming space. So many details. But there are so, so many kids that make all those details worth it-- today was just a reminder of that.